Not Strong Enough
by jazzy2may
Summary: SLASH story: Iruka and Naruto are attacked! Will they ever heal from such a betrayal? IruKashi, SasuNaru, Yaoi, Slash. on HIATUS 4 now. REVAMPING. 10.2008.
1. Chapter 1

**If you don't like fics like this please do not read or flame me. Thank you.**

Not Strong Enough 

Written by Jazzy (12/19/2007©)

Pairing(s): Iruka/Kakashi and Naruto/Sasuke

Rating: Mature

Sequel: No

Summary: Iruka and Naruto are attacked! Will either student or sensei ever be the same again? Will they ever heal from such a betrayal?

Warning: Sort of AU to stuck in Darkness. But it has nothing to do with that fic nor is it a sequel or a prequel. Angst, M/M Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery

**PART ONE**

Iruka didn't have time to think of anything else. He had been too slow to keep the first strike from happening. Naruto was helpless. He'd been hit first and hard.

Iruka covered him with his body taking the rest of the hits, kicks, and stabs from kunai and knives meant for Naruto onto himself.

He held Naruto tightly to him covering him from head to toe completely with his own body. He whispered. "Forgive me, for not being strong enough, Naruto. Forgive. Forgive please, forgive me."

The threats had been coming for years but now after graduation they decide to attack? Iruka felt as betrayed as Naruto. The village was finally taking revenge but why? Why now?

Maybe Naruto becoming shinobi was too much for them to handle. Iruka couldn't think their reasons good enough for endangering the life of this child who had devoted himself to the safety and protection of Konoha.

He wanted Naruto to survive. He wanted the child he loved to grow up and to become Hokage some day. He wanted Naruto's dreams and his future to come true. He wanted this child to be loved as he loved him. Naruto deserved to be loved. He had faith that in time Naruto would earn their love, if they but opened their hearts and if time allowed.

**Naruto**

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Naruto was supposed to become a respected ninja. He had passed the exams, he was learning at Kakashi's expense and from Jeraiya too. Naruto wasn't supposed to need to be protected. Iruka Sensei shouldn't have needed to be the one to give up his life.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He had worked so hard.

There were too many of them. Iruka had refused to harm a single villager or fellow shinobi but it did not keep them from doing him harm, great harm.

Naruto's mind categorized and memorized every sound, every gasp, every rip and tear, every bit of blood that fell from Iruka's body.

Iruka was curled around him, protecting him, whispering love and reassurances, even as he cut off cries of pain from every wound he'd received. Naruto was being crushed under the older man's weight. It was so hot and so hard to breathe trapped under Iruka.

Time seemed to stop and was counted as passing with every cry or kick or fist that made sounds of impact on hard flesh. Only these sounds and the blood dripping from Iruka were witness to the passing of time.

Naruto felt his mind stop, felt only whimpers escape his throat when Iruka stopped whispering, he seemed almost to stop breathing.

Soon there was only silence.

**The Children**

Morning came, Naruto had not moved, neither had Iruka. Children began to file in, Sensei always greeted them early and at the front of the building, welcoming them in through the doorway. Was Sensei Late? At first there was only one child but her screams brought others and then their voices rose in screams of horror and terror.

Iruka Sensei lay in crimson on the hard wood floor. He was curled around something. He was so still, not moving, and the blood pooled around him. First one girl then a boy then all of them started screaming and sobbing.

What was wrong with Iruka sensei?

Why was all the red paint in a puddle surrounding him?

Konohamaru and his small group took charge. Moegi pushed children back and cleared the crime scene. Konohamaru ran to the place he knew boss worked out, but not seeing Naruto there he then ran to the other places and found the bosses teammates instead.

"Come, Come Quick!" he screamed. "Iruka Sensei's been killed!"

Kakashi transported in a flash of smoke only seconds later Sasuke behind him. Sakura ran to the school. Konohamaru standing left behind in the fields, tears creeping down his cheeks as he finally realized, the boss was missing. Iruka Sensei might be holding the boss in their deaths.

**Sasuke**

Sasuke looked at the crime scene he tried to stay detached but he knew Naruto was here somewhere. Naruto had been there last night. He had told Sasuke that he and Iruka were going to be discussing plans for a Christmas celebration. But also Naruto had wanted to talk to Iruka about his and Sasuke's growing relationship.

Naruto had wanted his closest person to a father and older brother to give him advice. He had wanted to share with Iruka his happiness. "Their" happiness.

Sasuke searched frantically for any sign of Naruto, any sign at all. 

**Kakashi**

It was wrong seeing Iruka like this.

It wasn't natural.

Iruka was never this still or this quiet or this pale.

Iruka liked to sleep spread out, like a cat, taking up all the room. He never slept on his side like this. He never curled up into a little ball like this.

Iruka

Iruka

Kakashi carefully tried to straighten Iruka's body out. He tried to move Iruka into a less defensive position and to see what it was that Iruka had protected with his life's blood.

His hands shook with hidden emotion. He felt his eye blur from the hidden pain in his heart. It was hard to breathe.

Who had done this?

Why had they done this?

Why?

Iruka was always kind always good. His hands were pure and stainless. Iruka didn't have enemies. He was a teacher. He wasn't powerful like Kakashi.

Iruka was kind.

Too kind.

And it was this kindness that had gotten him killed.

Iruka stunned him with a show of stubborn will still remaining in his dying body. Chakra told Kakashi Iruka was not dead yet. But it was weakening and soon it would be gone.

"Iruka-koi," he whispered, letting the endearment out, begged, "Please, Sensei, please let me see what it is you are protecting so stubbornly."

Iruka seemed to hear him, seemed to recognize him and suddenly Iruka's body relaxed and unfurled. In his arms was a catatonic Naruto.

**Sasuke**

Sasuke snatched up the boy into his arms and held on to him with a cut off sob of desperation. "Naruto, Naruto." He chanted over and over. Hands traced facial features and stroked messy blood stained locks. Iruka had saved Naruto, had protected Naruto, with his life.

Naruto did not make a sound.

He stared at nothing.

He was catatonic.

TBC (at some point in the future)


	2. Chapter 2

**Reminder: If you don't like fics like this please note you have a choice, read or do not read. Don't flame me. Thank you.** (though luckily so far I have not been flamed and I am very grateful for that.)

* * *

Not Strong Enough  
Author: Jazzy (1/19/2008©)

Pairing(s): Iruka/Kakashi and Naruto/Sasuke

Rating: Mature

Sequel: No

Summary: Iruka and Naruto are attacked! Will either student or sensei ever be the same again? Will they ever heal from such a betrayal?

Warning: Sort of AU to stuck in Darkness. But it has nothing to do with that fic nor is it a sequel or a prequel. Angst, M/M Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery

**Reviews, Feedback, Suggestions are always welcomed**!

* * *

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWED. APPRECIATION HUGS & COOKIES TO YOU ALL!

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

It was going to be a long road to recovery. Iruka was put in to Kakshi's care full time. Kakashi wasn't taking any chances. He moved everything of his into Iruka's larger home. He put heavy duty security traps into place and set two of his best dogs into play as full time security guards. Iruka at first was amused. Because he felt safe and yet as Kakashi started cracking down on everything and taking over his life the amusement factor died. He knew why Kakashi was overreacting.

He knew that Kakashi had been traumatized by seeing his lover at death's door. They had all felt safe and secure in this village and now their perfect happy illusions were shattered. There was no such thing as safety, not even in Konohagure, at least not for the guardian, patron rather, of the demon vessel.

Physical therapy was a pain. A pain because it hurt a lot. Ibiki was a torture expert as well as it would seem a good physical therapist as was Gai-sensei and between these two men Iruka knew he could not fail to make a full recovery. But it was pure torture going to these sessions and he was always in pain afterward.

Iruka used crutches to get around or a wheel chair. His spine hurt, his muscles hurt, his body was in a near constant state of pain, but it was better than being numb. When he'd first awakened in the hospital and hadn't been able to feel his body he had feared he had become a quadriplegic and a useless member of society. (Iruka's self pity & fear speaking. Not the author's personal belief on the fully disabled.) His back had taken the full abuse that had been meant for the boy he'd been curled so tightly around protecting him from the full extent of the attacks aimed at them.

Iruka knew he was lucky he could have ended up fully disabled or dead or he could have ended up like dear Naruto, catatonic, even three months later. There was no sign of change in the now statue still like boy. A living breathing statue. Unfeeling and unaware of the world around him. He had Sasuke for a visitor on a daily basis. It was said Sasuke was even going to take Naruto home with him to the Uchiha compound to take care of him for the rest of his ailment, which could be for the rest of his life.

Iruka wanted to help his students. He wanted to put to rest the fear he knew was the reason for Naruto's state of mind. He wished he could delve into his student's mind and put it to ease. He wanted to discuss the matter with Kakashi, perhaps the sharingan can reach Naruto and force the terror away that was keeping the boy locked up in his mind?

Kakashi rarely let Iruka out of the house to go visit his stricken student or to go visit around the village his other students and his few civilian and shinobi friends. Kakashi fretted over Iruka's fragile health. Kakashi was not eager to lose Iruka again. He was worried that Iruka was stressing his recovery and slowing it down. The truth though was that Kakashi just didn't want Iruka out of his sight or out of the range of all the protection he could give his chunin lover. He wanted Iruka to stay in the fortress he'd created out of the little house Iruka owned, where Iruka was safe.

Iruka fought Kakashi on a daily basis for his freedoms, using everything in his arsenal from guilt trips and tears to "you're on the couch till next year, I swear it, Kakashi, I've had enough of this bull" sometimes he won and other times he would lose, sometimes Kakashi just would not budge no matter what he was threatened with.

Iruka though refused to live his life in fear. It was hard to do because every shadow, every sound could make him jumpy and tense up his muscles. He would hurt for hours after an outing.

Iruka would sometimes look into the crowds of people in the village in the market or on some street he was hobbling down on his way to the hospital and wonder… his paranoia getting the better of him. Is this person one of my assailants? That person looks familiar did he hurt me? That person there, what was that scowl about, did he wish I'd been killed? Does this person hate me? Does that person hate Naruto? Dare I trust these people? Am I about to be attacked again? Am I going to be finished off?

He'd tremble even as he tried to tell himself lie after lie. This is my home; this is my village. Here I am safe. Here I am loved.

I'm not afraid to die.

I only wish I'd been strong enough.

I'm not afraid to die.

I'm not afraid to die for this village.

No.

That's a lie!

I once could tell myself this without a doubt in my mind without fear without the feeling of it being a lie.

This village, my home, my hidden leaf, it turned on me. I can't defend a village that's turned on me. I'm terrified I'm going to die at the hands of my friends. Why aren't I strong enough?

He looked at the children playing in the parks or racing on the roof tops and on the streets and he felt tears come to his eyes.

He hobbled faster to the hospital he wanted to visit Naruto and then go home where it was safe, where Kakashi had made it safe. Where Kakashi would be waiting for him pretending that he wasn't following Iruka from the roof tops keeping a guarded eye on his lover. Iruka would have been upset with Kakashi but he was too exhausted to care and was now happy that Kakashi was watching his back.

Iruka knew himself well and he knew he wasn't strong enough to protect anyone even himself from an attack if another one should occur. He didn't think he actually had the heart to fight for survival this time around. This village had betrayed him. It had betrayed its loyal Iruka and loyal Naruto. This place wanted them dead.

* * *

Kakashi was going to keep Iruka safe no matter what. He didn't care that he was being over protective or being a stalker. He didn't care that Iruka didn't like it when he was followed and treated like a fragile thing. He just wanted Iruka to live. 

He would pamper and massage Iruka later tonight after his chunin's stubborn visit to Naruto was over. Ibiki would not appreciate that Kakashi had once more interfered in the therapy schedule but Kakashi wasn't going to let Iruka go anywhere after his visit with Naruto was over. Iruka was coming home and getting lovings. And Ibiki and Gai would just have to understand that. Kakashi would make them understand that.

Iruka needed to be home tonight. He needed pampering and reassurances. He needed to know he was cherished and loved and Kakashi was going to do that. He would strengthen Iruka with his love.

* * *

TBC 

Apologies for this chapter's shortness. I hope to have longer chapters as the story progresses. Now I have to get back to Naruto: Stuck in Darkness and the final Chapter of Naruto: Falling Leaves.


	3. Chapter 3

**

* * *

If you don't like fics like this please do not read or flame me. Thank you.

* * *

**

**Not Strong Enough  
**Written by Jazzy (2/8/2008©)

Pairing(s): Iruka/Kakashi and Naruto/Sasuke  
Rating: Mature

Sequel: No

Summary: Iruka and Naruto are attacked! Will either student or sensei ever be the same again? Will they ever heal from such a betrayal?

Warning: Sort of AU/parallel to Stuck in Darkness. But it has nothing to do with that fic nor is it a sequel or a prequel. Angst, M/M Romance, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery

**a/n: If you have read Stuck in Darkness ch.4 this might come off a little like that chapter. recall that Stuck in Darkness and Not Strong Enough are sort of parallel AU stories to one another. And so they might come out a lot the same. Sorry for any confusion.

* * *

**

CHAPTER THREE 

Naruto seemed calmer with Iruka's visits. He would some times come out of the hidden place in his mind to visit with them. Today though didn't look to be one of those good days.

Iruka trembled from the exertion it had taken him to get to the Uchiha compound. Sasuke was a polite host and had provided anything one would require for tea and a friendly visitation.

Iruka smiled gently whispered his thanks then carefully sipped from his cup and ate what was offered him.

Naruto was clean and dressed in his usual bright orange, a t-shirt and pajama pants, a thick and fuzzy robe decorated with little frogs all over with matching fuzzy green frog slippers. The outfit was an eyesore, blue and green for the robe and slippers, orange and white for the jammies beneath. Iruka tried not to wince. He suspected Sasuke had chosen the robe for comfort rather than color same with the orange jammies. Naruto wouldn't wear any other color than orange even in a catatonic state, orange was Naruto's trademark, his identity, his comfort. Without it he seemed to get very agitated.

Sasuke had bathed him and dressed him. If they didn't have visitors Sasuke would stare for hours into the dobe's blank eyes. He tried to will Naruto to wake up and come back from the place he hid in dormant inside. Naruto was so stubborn. Sasuke was coming close to the end of his own sanity. He thought he could do this, take care of Naruto for as long as Naruto had need of such things.

But gazing into those wide blank blue eyes made him afraid, made him feel despair. When would the Dobe snap out of it? Come on Naruto, you are so much stronger then this. You can defeat this dobe. Sasuke willed.

Iruka's hands shook as he reached out and took Naruto's hands into his own. He began to talk. His voice was beloved and well known to his students able to convey supreme comfort and safety as well as supreme "you're in so much trouble you aren't getting out of detention for the rest of your life" type doom. Right now Iruka's voice was a murmur of sweetness and gentle comfort.

"Sasuke-kun tells me those are new slippers. They're very cute Naruto. They match your little wallet, yes?" The chunin chuckled and smiled kindly. Naruto's eyes were blank today. Iruka suspected Naruto wasn't ready to come out to day and talk or play.

After a time of quiet and nibbling and sipping tea, Iruka sighed. "I don't know what to do for you, Naruto. I know I'm not completely healed yet. The Anbu are hunting down the culprits. Kakashi-sama has been keeping me a prisoner in my own home. He smothers me in his love and only wants to protect me and keep me safe. Life isn't safe Naruto." Not for a shinobi, not for a demon container. They tried to kill us. Our village turned on us and tried to kill us. Coming to terms with that truth was killing Iruka slowly. He hoped Naruto never realized it. Iruka didn't know what he was going to do.

How can he even think of continuing to live in this place, let alone teach in it? He couldn't trust his safety any more. He couldn't blindly trust in the village any more. He was confused and hurt by what had happened to them. He was floundering and the more he thought about it the more appealing living in his guarded home a virtual prisoner in a gilded cage sounded better and better every day.

"You knew that once. I know why you are hiding right now and I hope you will come out soon. Its much the same reasons for Kakashi hiding me away from everyone else. He's afraid and so are you, for that matter so am I. But I can't allow that fear to rule my life. Don't let it rule yours either." Such pretty words, but you'd say anything to make Naruto feel better or say something that would help him cope or heal. Naruto was like a son or little brother to him. He didn't like seeing him like this.

"Sasuke-kun and I are very worried for you. We love you. Hiding only keeps you away from us and serves no other purpose than to cause more pain. Don't keep yourself from us Naruto, please come out, come back to us soon." Pleaded Iruka.

Sasuke and Iruka spent most of the rest of the chunin's visit talking to each other. Glancing to Naruto occasionally assessing if he was conscious or not, whether he was taking in Iruka's presence or words or not.

Sasuke couldn't converse as well as Naruto could. Sasuke didn't know how. He couldn't open up as easily as Naruto could or as easily as Iruka. Iruka carried the weight of their conversations with an occasional question or comment from Sasuke.

**

* * *

Outside on the roof top standing guard over those he loved.**

As the hour grew late and Kakashi flipped listlessly through his "Itcha Itcha" he kept a vigilant eye out for any possible interlopers or possible assaulters. No one was going to hurt Iruka or Naruto. He didn't care how talented or strong Sasuke was, Kakashi was stronger. He only trusted himself to look after Iruka's safety.

He worried about Iruka's frail health. He wanted to force Iruka to come home and rest and let Kakashi take care of him. Give him a sensual massage, then treat him to the hot springs up the road. He had already sent Pakkun to inform Ibiki and Gai that this week's treatment was on hold so that Iruka could convalesce.

Kakashi hated that Iruka was putting his life in jeopardy every time he left their home of safety. Kakashi had made very clear traps and warnings all over the place. Not even Iruka's students could come over for visits without making preparations before hand. Unexpected visits tended to leave a youth or adult injured equally. Everyone accused Kakashi of over-protectiveness but Kakashi felt he couldn't be cautious enough. Iruka was precious. He'd almost lost him once already.

Not going to count the Mizuki though Kakashi felt he should but He and Iruka hadn't been in and out of each other's beds at that time in their lives. And he probably very likely owed Mizuki's attack for giving him the opportunity to teach Naruto and therefore meeting and falling in love with Iruka.

If Mizuki hadn't have attacked Naruto and hadn't have tricked Naruto as he had then Naruto would never have gone on to genin and Iruka would never have stood up to him at the chunin exams or the times before that when they would bump into one another after a genin mission, or memorize his face for when they met in the missions office when Iruka would hand out his missions or accept his missions reports.

Naruto had played them well off of one another. Iruka always disapproving of Kakashi and clucking over Naruto like a mama hen with her chick, the ramen stand noodle nights.

God above, how he loved Iruka-sensei. He loved Iruka's addiction to ramen, his love for his little genins, for the kids of this village, Iruka's compassionate and tender nature, his fire cracker temper. Kakashi woke up most nights in a cold sweat trying not to shriek like a girl in terror from his nightmares wherein he relived Iruka's near death experience over and over again.

Nothing Itachi or Orochimoro could do to him could rival the torture he'd felt when he'd thought Iruka had been dead and taken away from him for the rest of his life, which wouldn't have lasted long past his revenge against Iruka's murderers. He was sure Sasuke would do an adequate job or even Ibiki, hell Ibiki would do more than just an adequate job, but Kakashi only trusted his own methods. He wouldn't have been able to find peace or die and be with Iruka if he wasn't the one to kill the murderers himself.

Thank fully though Iruka wasn't dead and as soon as his little chunin was healed and well enough Kakashi was going to go on Anbu mission and slaughter the bastards, the scum, who had dared lay a hand on the little chunin. HIS Chunin.

Kakashi calmed himself with lusty thoughts dreams that made his mouth water and his hands itch to touch. "better clear those out right now." He looked for a place to hide once he found one he unzipped then molested himself to a satisfying climax then returned to the roof in wait for Iruka to finish up his visit with their injured student.

* * *

TBC

* * *

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Hope to make the next chapter longer. Hope you enjoyed. Sincerely, Jazzy. 


End file.
